is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
