Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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