How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Quick, to the slutcave!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
