How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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