1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
