i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
