the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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