If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
