cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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