Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
