we're blogging at a bar
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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