your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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