Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
