I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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