What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
