its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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