At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He passed out mid-signature
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
