I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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