it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
