coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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