never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
