Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
