Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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