I smell stomach acid.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
