I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
