Screwed.edu
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
