you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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