I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
