i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I love you. Go after that dick
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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