Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
