If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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