She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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