I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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