you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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