We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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