I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
