why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
