i just google imaged poop.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
