Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
