I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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