PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
