I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
