On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
