How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
