Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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