so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
