I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
