She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
