Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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