Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
