people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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