Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
