And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
