I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
